December 3, 2023

You are doing it alone: the 8th reason for your confusion about LIFE

I sincerely thank you for your patience, despite countless delays in delivering this series. And I congratulate you for finishing this series. Like the wind tosses anything weak or light, so many things try to sift out thoughts from what truly matters.

Welcome to the last series on 8th shocking reasons for your confusion about LIFE—you are doing it alone.

Have you heard of the saying, “If you want to go faster, go alone; if you want to go far, go together?” African proverbs.

You are doing it alone

Indeed, we all are bone loners; we never came together with any or everybody and would undoubtedly return alone. (Even twins, triplets, e.t.c) have a different destiny to fulfill.

But it often seems impossible for us to grow intentionally, no matter how good our intentions are.

Have you tried everything you know of on your own, yet it seems you are not closer to achieving anything tangible? Have you applied every formula, and the only thing you keep getting is the same result?

Many experts would say the actual definition of insanity is repeating the same thing and still expecting different results. So, what you need is not more hard work; YOU NEED HELP.

Yes, there are moments when you should take time off alone and build yourself, yet you cannot discover your full potential if you don’t have other SUCCESSFUL people to nudge you to the path of greatness.

Denzel Washington, a veteran actor, would say, “without commitment, you wouldn’t be able to start, but most importantly, without consistency, you would not finish.”

But do you know you could be committed to the wrong thing, and at worst, you consistently put reasonable effort into doing the wrong thing?

I once saw in somebody’s post that personal development matters, and it is crucial to building your dreams on your terms, but you could be making your dreams on your terms, and in the end, it is rubbish.

Apostle Joshua Selman once said if there is anything he is scared of, it is not death; it is not loss of money. More than money, more than death that what fears him the most is holding onto something for a long time only to discover that it has been a lie.

Similarly, you and I can hold on to a dream, a vision, and a plan for a long time, only to find out it was never ours. Isn’t it scary? That’s why many people in their late 50s or even 70s say they regret doing life the way they did. They should have been more daring.

The truth is there are many times when we would look back in time and still regret some decisions that are even daring, yet it was an opportunity we shouldn’t have ventured into. No wonder it is so important to submit our talents and unique abilities to GOD and sincerely wait on HIM until he reveals the blueprint of our destiny, especially when you have done all you could ALONE.

How are you doing it alone another reason for your confusion about LIFE?

When toddlers begin to move one step after another, in many cases, they would need help to walk for some time until they have found their footing; after a while, they can find their way around.

The same thing applies to us, we are all toddlers when we venture into new things, and we need to be held by hand to find our footing.

God never intended for man to be alone; HE had to go the extra mile to reveal how important it is for man to have a companion. We cannot mock God; yes, at some point you should be able to take the bull by the horn in your life. But… would you be able to if you don’t know how to grab the bull by the horn? And who would teach you how to grab the bull by the horn? People—SUCCESSFUL people that have taken the bull by the horn!

Doing anything alone is another reason for your confusion about life if you have failed doubtlessly doing the same thing, you are hard-headed and taking the same route. It is frustrating when you expect things to turn out better than it was, yet the result remains the same.

The CONFUSION might linger for a long time until you decide to pay attention to how you are doing it and pay attention to even the tiniest detail. You’d be amazed how you have been the reason behind the countless downfall and failures.

Do you know that doing the same thing ALONE yields less to no result, and it weakens you? Even recent studies advise young entrepreneurs to delegate. So, joggling up work ALONE does not make you MORE PRODUCTIVE it degenerates and renders your effort almost futile. We all need HELP.

Simply put, we cannot do life alone; we cannot exist without others. You are constantly building your business for people; you are training your children because you expect they will have a family. While you go about your day with other things, you are building a company that you hope to have another manage.

People are IMPORTANT. You might start something alone, but it would take many hands on deck to keep your ideal work on top; otherwise, it will not stand the test of time.

Again! WE CANNOT DO LIFE ALONE. So, if nobody can exist alone, why do people still do things alone?

Why do people still do things alone?

There are countless reasons people choose to do things alone; why it is not entirely wrong to do things alone, it is crucial to learn that the real reason behind people’s decisions is more than meets the eye.

1. Most people do things alone because of shame and guilt.

2. People still do things alone because of past failures (fear of another failure)

3. Because of disappointment

4. They fear betrayal; they fear being judged.

5. The people are giving up on life.

6. Because of past mistakes and regrets

7. They assume they have lost what life truly offers them.

8. They are scared of change (Which often is not the case; they are not afraid of change. They are scared of the discomfort that comes with change.)

9. Lack of trust due to experiences

10. They are still ignorant of the TRUTH.

What to do to ensure you don’t do life ALONE

Simple, don’t do LIFE alone, so more than what you are doing, or why you are doing what you are doing, pay attention to how you are doing it.

If you have experienced significant difficulties doing things on your own, then don’t sneer at finding help; otherwise, you will end up in utter regret.

First, you must recognize that you have been doing everything independently and have not achieved any REMARKABLE results. This is a period of self-awareness.

Be sincere with yourself; people often admitted they needed help, only came to realize it has always been New Year, the same habit, attitude, desire, and money. There is no evidence of growth whatsoever.

Secondly, identify the areas where you know you need help; it is still vital that you remain honest. Identify the areas you would love to outgrow old habits and mean what you say.

Thirdly, find genuine people you know are doing well and outgrowing certain habits and ensure they are willing to help you grow in those areas—you can refer to these people as MENTORS.

Note: it is almost impossible to meet one person having all the qualities you seek, so you must put in the work, find people and identify what you admire most in them; if it is what you can lean on for your growth, then by all chance, learn.

In order words, you can have more than one or two mentors. Indeed, this is because there are many areas to focus on for your growth, and each sector still has its subset, be bold in it.

• Your spiritual mentor might not know much about how to improve in finances; you need a financial mentor to keep your balance.

• You would need a mentor in any career path you choose and still need a mentor to help you maintain good relationships with people.

Signs you are doing life alone, and you need HELP

1. You have so many things you are keeping to yourself

2. You have been getting the same result

3. You feel within your subconscious that something needs to change

4. You are still afraid of the same thing that stopped you for a long time

5. When you break down, you don’t have anybody to share your struggles with

6. You are struggling to keep on with good results

Effects of doing life ALONE

1. Anybody who does life alone is most likely to end up in CONFUSION.

2. If you do life alone, you will make mistakes that would be almost inescapable.

3. Doing life alone would only result in hardship; those things that seem easy now become a hard nut to crack.

4. When you do life alone you become susceptible to many dangers that you could have avoided

5. When you do life alone, you’re most likely to get too comfortable being alone that you miss out on opportunities and networking.

6. Loneliness saps your energy, steals your creativity, exposes you to the slaughterhouse of self-doubt, and gradually self-doubt turns into depressive or suicidal thoughts.

No gimmicks; it is relatively hard to embrace loneliness; in many cases, you can be alone and magical things happen because God needs a personal relationship with you. However, it only happens if you know where to start.

You limit your growth if you think admitting you need help means you are clingy or overly dependent on people for development. It is not valid, you can decide to give the false belief system, else it traps you from becoming better.

So, if you have been doing life alone and you feel stuck, this is the right time for you to make your life count by doing something different. Please note, it will not make sense in the beginning, don’t expect it to be, but if you keep holding and readjusting, it becomes easier every day.

Benefits of getting ahead in life with the help of others

• You will cheat so many procedures, not in the wrong way, but you would avoid so many procedures as they already know the best way to get things done in the shortest period.

• Your mentors will, without hesitation, detect the places in your life that need your full attention.

• Doing life with the help of others would make complex things more accessible.

• You are exposed to countless opportunities as you network with people.

• You would avoid many mistakes that would have limited your passion for growth.

• Getting ahead in life with others answers many questions about finding your potential and destiny.

• When you leverage people’s help, you are on your way to great SUCCESS.

• Most importantly, you will not ride on in life with CONFUSION.


It is hard to get ahead alone, and there’s nothing you can do about it; even if you scream, you are an introvert; you need people to survive. But be sure to choose wisely.

Are you now aware how you are doing life alone is another reason for your confusion about life? Hopefully, you have. Please take your time leaving your current state, one step at a time, and trust the HOLY SPIRIT to empower you. Things will happen when you least expect them.

Once again, congratulations on finishing this series!



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