Get ready to learn the 8 shocking reasons for your confusion about life. Have you imagined the plethora or vast possibilities of becoming just about anything you want to be?
If yes, what is stopping you? If not, there is only one reason: CONFUSION.
Over time, Young Dreams Matter has successfully carried out a series on the most asked and dying question, “Why am I confused about life?”
Although this guide is the very summary of this series, it is a recall that this is one thing that you and I have battled and, in many cases, still battle with.
If this is your first time communing with us, we welcome you. And if you want more, you can go back to the series to learn more, from “Is it okay to be confused about life?” to the end, you are doing it alone.
Now to the very question:
Why are people confused about life?
In the first paragraph, I said that if you have not imagined the possibilities of anything you want to be, the reason is CONFUSION. It is TRUE. You cannot battle it; before we delve into 8 shocking reasons for your confusion about life, let’s learn about confusion.
Confusion comes in different shades. It comes when you begin to battle with your identity, otherwise known as an identity crisis.
It is confusion when you begin to doubt your capabilities, although it can be transcribed as an inferiority complex, the feeling of, “they are all better than I would ever be.”
It is confusion when you are struggling to meet social media standards: Facebook, tik tok, Instagram, Whatsapp, name it! It is confusion when you want to reduce your standards to fit into what is societally acceptable.
Take a moment and breathe…
Can you remember all the things you did being little and how it mattered less to you, whether you made tons of mistakes or not?
Oh, I remember a good number of them from my childhood experiences. I remember taking roles in dramas, speaking on different occasions, drawing for fun, and even getting paid for it! I remember sewing too! You can list yours unapologetically.
Have you ever thought why Matthew 18:3 said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven?”
My dear friend, it is because to be a child is to want to test everything and see curiously; to be a child is to be free of worries and desires; to be a child is to be quick to forgive and care for. To be a child is to be free of strife, pride, hatred, and bias. To be a child is to be color-blinded, free of racism.
Children are pure in the heart; they are quick to trust, and children learn the most by just doing. But, most adults harbor rebellious thoughts; most of us entertain garbage just to fit in.
How much for a world already filled with chaos? How much for a world quickly moved by what they see, hear, feel, perceive or even think? So much more for a world heavily laden with pride, sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, envy, and so much more.
Little wonder our Jesus said in Matthew 11:28, “Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavily laden, and I will give you rest.”
Can you, in a few words, define CONFUSION?
Let me attempt to do this in just six words.
What is CONFUSION? Confusion is the absence of clarity. This leads to absence of peace. You won’t experience peace if you are conforming to the system of this world. You will not experience peace if you are trying to joggle GOD’S work while omitting or adding things to fit your standards or society’s standards.
Come to think of it, why would you experience such turmoil on earth, even when GOD has given you the right to choose between good and bad? Should you not be free to make a choice and not regret it? Yet, so many people choose badly, and things don’t go well. Do you know why? It is because it is not consistent with the LIFE in you.
You don’t own yourself; you don’t belong to yourself. It is GOD, or it is no one else. You, my friend, have the ZOE LIFE in you: the LIFE OF GOD, if you believe.
Why people are confused about life
- People are confused about life because they try to live on their terms, knowingly or unknowingly. Why would you hear the Ten Commandments and try to take out four because it does not suit your desires?
- People are confused because they are hell-bent on twisting laws to fit their standards or doing things only to obey men’s rules.
- Most people are confused because they try to keep GOD and engage in frivolities and the desires of the flesh.
But do you also believe this?
…That people are also confused about life because they question the credibility and accuracy of the system of this world.
Now, let’s get down to the business of the day! Without further ado, what are the 8 shocking reasons for your confusion about life? Let’s find out again.
8 Shocking Reasons for Your Confusion about Life
In our guide, is it okay to be confused about life? We congratulated you (those) that are confused about life because we believe you are going through this process of tapping into a higher frequency. Perhaps like me, you are tired of staying ever learning without coming to the knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 3:7
Imagine being a Christian for fifteen or thirty years and just realizing what SALVATION truly means and that your Christian journey as a believer goes beyond being saved.
This leads to our first reason,
Growing up, we didn’t have to make choices, our parents, guardians, and godparents made choices, and we didn’t have to throw tantrums for it. Why?
Of course, for obvious reasons, we are young; they don’t trust us to make the right choice. It wasn’t a problem anyways; until we turned eleven, we began to see these green lights as yellow lights that we must attend to before they turned to red lights.
At twelve or fifteen, you grumble at any slightest thing. You do not want to be checked on; you trust to at least make meaningful choices yourself.
Suddenly, your parents, guardians, teachers, or neighbor’s heartfelt concern becomes a burden. Now you need to bathe with aloe Vera so you slip away from their hands anytime they try to hold you back.
Fine, now you are 18 or 25 or 30 or even more; you probably live alone. You stand in the mirror and smirk at your very existence, like you are there, but you are not. You look back and have lost count on the mistakes you’ve made and the think that you would never recover from them. Most of them you hope to lock and throw in the deepest part of your mind where you can’t access it again.
Yet, every single day, you are reminded of it. What happened to all those times you thought you were the lord over your decisions?
You trusted that the relationship you started at 15 would lead to marriage; you trusted your friend to keep a secret that everybody now knows. You trusted yourself to hold back even if your friends betrayed you, but your emotions betrayed you first.
You trusted you would be a millionaire by now, you boasted, and you made plans, but you are yet to recover from the fifth or even the ninth failed attempt in the same business.
I wish I could paint words, but I won’t because we are all in this gambit. The garbage, the stuff we hide behind. What happened? Like you, I and everyone else thought we knew what we were doing. We thought we knew our stance, but we didn’t. Did we know what we were doing, or were we drawn to the change that comes with growth and the changes that come with knowing more?
You do not know your stance
Have you thought of the many times we basked in ignorance and pride, yet we could beat our chest and say we are making the right decisions? Here’s how it starts;
- “Oh, you mean your parents still choose your outfits.”
- “Wait a minute, your parents don’t give you more than fifty thousand naira or two hundred dollars for your upkeep; how do you cope?”
- “Come on; you want to tell me that you don’t hang out with boys, you don’t go to parties? That’s unfair on you.”
- “Do you have to answer to your stepmother; she’s not your mother!”
- “I think marrying him would help your life and career.”
- “Go for that course; after all, what have you got to lose?
All of these come with emotions to make you feel you are left out; now you want to join the crew badly, and you want to own your life and give account to yourself for it. To cement these wild thoughts and suggestions, you now see quotes matching the rebellious thoughts hatching.
Boom! Now the peppers spray just busted, and you cannot take it.
Then like the prodigal son, you go and ask for your inheritance, or you make a scene and then elope with no plans, no hope for returns. What you only have now are your friends.
Question: Did you really make the decisions on your own? Well, you didn’t. However, you thought you knew your stance, but you practically forbade your parent’s protection and provision to buy the lies from your friends.
Do you now see?
Your friends, circumstances, and emotions forced you into a decision you weren’t ready for. We cannot imagine the many lies we have bought and have built walls to guard our innocent hearts.
When the scale leaves, you become frustrated; everybody is now a threat, and you do not want friends. You now transit to isolation. You are far from being alone if you think you are the only one in this situation.
You think you will recover, but that is when all the mistakes, like movies, begin to replay on the canvas of your mind. Now, you condemn yourself; you think it’s you, but is it really you? You prayed for GOD’S forgiveness but can’t move past the scenario. Now halt!
Don’t you see this is one of the reasons for your CONFUSION? Yes, you’ve made mistakes. We have all made mistakes but enough throwing the tantrums, enough with the blame games. Stop giving the devil a chance to manipulate you into the shores of utter condemnation. It only leads to an ocean of depressive thought patterns.
Why did you not know your stance?
Simple, you were offered a lie as a truth, and you believed the lie, and it became your truth. I am currently reading Winning the War in your mind by Craig Groeschel, and it’s as if the author was writing a biography of me based on the lies I have accepted.
Remember, John 8:32 say, “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”
But the truth can’t make you free; joggling it with lies, “what you consume, consumes you.” You cannot pour a new wine into an old wineskin; it will burst! (Read Mark 2: 19—22)
Buy the truth and sell it not, Proverbs 23:23. The truth you thought you had is a lie, it stinks, and hurts; now is the time to replace it with the truth.
What is the truth that you should know?
- You must know who you are,
- Who your SOURCE is,
- Your talents, gifts,
- How you can develop them and serve us with them.
What does the truth do when you find it?
- The truth will bring you light (read Psalms 43)
- Truth exempts you
- The truth exposes the lies of the enemy
- Save you from presumed insanity, doubt, and fear.
Read, you don’t know your stance to understand better. So, what if you conquer this stage again? What again?
Let’s say a little about this because I believe you know all this; you are only struggling to accept the truth.
First, I need you to do something quickly, “rebuke mind-binding spirits now.” Anything that blinds our mind is not of GOD, they are GOD’S enemies, and if they are, they are our enemies too. So, speak to your father, take authority, and command the mind-binding spirits out so that you can accept the TRUTH.
Now read on,
A switch always turns on when we hear something for the first time, and it is the exact opposite of what we have always believed in. Research calls it cognitive dissonance.
Before you know it, you want to defend your belief with every word in your arsenal. You will most likely lose the argument if you don’t know much. It is so frustrating.
Why do you think people are still confused even after knowing the truth?
Simple, the truth is such a hard pill to swallow. Truth reveals pain, lies, envy, jealousy, lust, and selfish desires. You think you’ve built a strong tower until you look back to see the huge holes in the foundation. TRUTH is not comforting.
The fact is, we especially locked up in the flesh, will not stop so we can redirect our steps. We continue to face life head-on with so many lies. Sex before marriage is a lie, yet we allow unbelievers to use us as bait and sell us into servitude, after which, we question GOD.
Abortion is a sin, but the devil will whisper that you already sinned getting pregnant outside wedlock, so finish what you started. Lying is a bobby trap, but we build a haven in it. All the activities of the flesh make us fall short of GOD’S glory. IT IS THAT BAD.
Every failed attempt in all the lies leads to CONFUSION, yet we begin again with a new lie. This continues because you hate discomfort.
So, you can know your stance, embrace discomfort, and still be confused about life. Well, yes. The third reason in the 8 shocking reasons for your confusion about life is that you are not acting on what you know.
For a moment, think of how many things you know but do not benefit from. Why do you think this is so? This goes beyond riches, material possession, and other physical acquisition.
If you had done everything you should do with what you know, would you still be in the current situation?
If you know your father has 30 million naira in the bank for you, but the condition is that you should learn his harmless rules, obey them and have it. What would you do?
Of course, you are elated, and you then learn the rules and get used to them, but then you never get to obey them. Would you still have the money?
Can’t know, can’t be, can’t do, and can’t have. You will see where this is coming from if you’ve read the main subject. Throughout the bible, there’s virtually a warning that says he who has ears, let him hear. The WORD commands us to do, and we reap the fruit of our hard labor. Like a disease, this plagues many people; procrastination, delay, inactions, and the “I’ll do it later” syndrome.
I am not safe too. But we do not know that this leads to CONFUSION because you already know too much. Don’t you think it’s time to face it head-on?
Do you know what happens when you give all yourself to serving others and not building up yourself? They begin to notice all the things you do wrong without counting all the efforts you make to make every of their request come to pass.
They would disregard you now and then rob your goodness all over your face. Why? Because you do not spend time with yourself too.
No matter how much you still do, a day will come when everything you’ve built seems like a joke to people. Apostle Joshua Selman would refer to our generation as an “arrogant generation,” and I would not agree less.
We think it is a solid mental attitude to find faults in people and call them out immediately when we are 600 miles behind.
You are most likely to get to a place of CONFUSION when you pay little attention to yourself but lose yourself entirely in the service of others. YOU ARE AN ASSET.
In essentialism, Greg Mckeown said, “The best asset we have for making a contribution to the WORLD is ourselves.” So, “we need to pace ourselves, nurture ourselves, and give ourselves fuel to explore, thrive and perform.”
Being overly available is not limited to work or office; you can excessively give yourself to church activities that jeopardize or compromise your communion with GOD. You can exercise this at home too, in school, just about anywhere. This is another reason amongst the 8 shocking reasons for your confusion about life.
This is quite another reason we are bound to land on the regrettable road called CONFUSION. Speak of who is the prominent victim of this? I.
Joyce Meyer referred to this as wilderness mentality in her book Battlefield of the Mind: “Don’t make me wait—I want it now!
During my early years of learning to cook, I remember how often I had to end up with unpleasant meals because my father was impatient and wanted the meal instantly.
My mistake: either the meat needs to be soft enough for one to be able to chew it, or the soup is watery, or at worst, I would forget to add the ingredients that make up the meal. My father, who is late now (may his soul continue to rest in peace), would say in Igbo, “Nwata eshi e waterside Aba.” Figuratively, it means the soup is watery.
But if, he hadn’t rushed me, I probably wouldn’t make an improperly prepared meal. He would have been more impressed.
That aside, what about now? I cannot count how often I have made decisions because I was led on impulse.
GOD gives speed, but when you rush things, you rush into CONFUSION, condemnation, and, many times, shame and depression.
Where do people rush progress?
- People rush into fame
- Single people rush into marriage
- People run into toxic relationships
- People rush into any career/business
- Married people rush into divorce.
- Families and friends rush into fights that stretch to feud
- People run to change location
- Many people rush to make money
And this leads us to the next point. Do you know what happens when we rush progress? We rush out of GOD’S will.
Welcome to a society where we judge results with money, so it is a no-brainer that we would want to rise on the lens of what society sees SUCCESS to be. But what is SUCCESS? Read your judge results with money to know what SUCCESS is NOT.
It becomes a real challenge when an individual is relatively doing well but has no money to show for it. It feels like there’s no proof of what you are doing. We begin to do outrageous things to get the money. And really, it doesn’t take long to learn manipulation. That is when things start to surface.
Suddenly, the young person who heard GOD’S voice to wait is now desperate to show he or she has arrived. And with the popular notion “money stops nonsense,” they behave barbarically to sort themselves.
Now, they have limited time even to enjoy the money. What happens to taking baby steps? What happens to “do not despise your humble beginning“? Now, you want to do everything and anything within your power to prove that “poverty is a disease.”
Do you know what Proverbs 1:19 says? According to C.E.V., “The wealth you get from crime robs you of your life.”
Nobody says we should indulge poverty, you know, allow it to sit us down on a Saturday morning and begin its talk, but remember, although money answereth all things, the love of money is the root of all evil. Money is not; it is the love of it.
The root cause of this is fear of missing out, poverty, and losing self-respect. All these eventually lead to impatience. After everything, we now regret and think GOD is punishing us.
James 1:14, C.E.V., says, “We are tempted by our own desires that drag us off and trap us. Our desires make us sin, and when sin is finished with us, it leaves us dead.”
Do you now understand?
Okay let’s say you know your stance. You’ve embraced all the discomfort that comes with change. What else? Let’s assume you act on what you know and do much for yourself. More so, you take things slow and you don’t judge results with money; what else can cause confusion?
Isn’t it amazing how almost every factor is against our rising righteously? So, you know your stance, and you have moved past everything that looks like a barricade, now this?
Although people say it is never meant to be easy, when the journey has begun, you will know that it is more than the eye meets. The struggle is real!
However, you must understand the battle is not against flesh or blood. In his book The Believer’s Authority, Andrew Wommack calls the entire struggle spiritual warfare. So, in other words, it is not about your mother, father, siblings, cousins, friends, or neighbors; it is deeper than that.
Every day, we are under the influence of something, this is a mystery that predates our knowledge. Of course, this is a feud, a huge fight between two kingdoms: the kingdom of darkness perverting the things of GOD and using them against us.
So, if someone calls you foolish, incompetent, or a waste because you have chosen what is right, don’t fight it; it is not them. The devil simply wants to get to you.
Have you watched Venom? An American movie that shows how weak the symbiotes (as referred to in the film) were without a host, and when it does find a host, it begins to control the host. Yes, the host now has some psychic abilities, but it does more harm to the host than good.
And just as Apostle Joshua Selman would always say, blessings come from GOD, through men, and to men. The same goes for curses, vices, and troubles. You have an enemy who would do anything to get to you with his ancient strategies: patience and deceit.
If you do not pay attention, you will spiral into a CONFUSION. Many times it does not outrightly start with CONFUSION. It begins with words like.
- “I don’t deserve this, I deserve better”;
- “They don’t love me, I will never be good enough,”
- I will never make it, it is too late, I might as well give up.”
All these negative emotions and self-talk only cause an emotional breakdown. But, the enemy offers us this every minute, lies upon lies. A lie said severally now becomes a truth to consider, buy and believe.
But like the WORD defines him: the devil, he speaks of himself, he tells of his native tongue—L.I.E.
What has the bible said about condemnation? There is no condemnation for them that are in CHRIST JESUS. So, if the condemnation is not from GOD, who then is it from? The devil!
Accepting condemnation is another way into CONFUSION. What’s the antidote to this? Inner healing? Read the main subject. You accept too little praise and more condemnation.
This is the opposite of the initial topic, but while many people can expose themselves unconsciously to harm when in condemnation; many people can do outrageous things to keep praise coming in.
And like the known proverbs, praise makes good men better and bad men worse; people can grow into unhealthy habits when they are only attracted to praise. This automatically turns people to become people pleasers.
Being a people pleaser is not a red flag entirely because the bible even commands that we should stay at peace with everybody. Nevertheless, doing it for the wrong reasons only leads to frustration because to maintain and continue basking in recognition, you would lose yourself in the charade, the lies, and the deceits. In the end, you would still lose.
Be careful when seeking alternatives outside GOD to prove a point. It belittles you and leads to doubt, loss, and CONFUSION. And when things get worse, you are now left in your head to battle it all alone.
Here’s a famous saying by Albert Einstein, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
We often move with our heads doing things we think are correct, and again, we end up in frustration because our expectations get flushed down the drain, then we repeat the process.
Why does this happen? Because we think it is self-defeating to expose our weaknesses to others. It looks vulnerable and demeaning.
But even on our own, we cannot make decisions or change the status quo.
You bring up twisted strategy, mix everybody’s opinion, then we fail again and end up with a twisted ankle, too broken to even limp. You don’t need more strategy or hard work; YOU NEED HELP.
Pray about it, share it with your FATHER, get instructions, carry it out, and end shame by accepting you have been wrong.
We are not created to live in isolation. Solitude is good when your intentions are GOD-centred and based on preparation. Otherwise, you permit the devil to build a nest under your nose. Don’t give him a chance!
Let’s not try to only focus on self-improving efforts that lead to self-defeating patterns. In The Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer said, “You can’t overcome your situation by determination alone. You need to be determined but determined in the Holy Spirit, not in the effort of your flesh.” Is that all?
It is, but there is more, in subsequent time we’ll unravel all this by GOD’S sufficient GRACE alone.
Our guide will help you trace the unhealthy patterns that lead to CONFUSION. These 8 shocking reasons for your confusion about life will expose you to knowing the little yellow threads that we don’t see that now turn to red ribbons and then to a black veil that makes it hard for us to see.
People now blindly wake and walk into glaring bobby traps but rarely know it, to be so. WE NEED HELP. God willing, Young Dreams Matter will come up with a series to help you leave CONFUSION. It is important to note that being CONFUSED ABOUT LIFE is not an excuse for STAYING CONFUSED ABOUT LIFE.
Read Is it okay to be confused about life? as we answered this extensively. Fight your way to a place of certainty. Here’s a short recap on why you are confused about life.
- You do not know your stance
- You hate discomfort
- You are not acting on what you know
- You are doing too much and too little
- You are rushing progress
- You judge results with money
- You accept too many condemnations
- You accept too much praise
- You are doing it alone
My team and I hope GOD visits you as you open your heart and mind to Him. Till we meet again, keep winning in life with GOD by your side.